THE TOP 20 CHICKENS

Following Labour's u-turn, the government's general election bill was passed in the Commons by a whopping 418 majority.  It still has to pass through the House of Lords, but is likely to gain royal assent by the end of the week.  Predictably it won't move as swiftly as the Benn Surrender Act did.  Nothing moves that fast!

Embarrassingly for Corbyn almost half of his own MPs refused to back his newfound enthusiasm for a general election. 104 abstained in the final vote, while a further 11 voted against, making a complete mockery of Corbyn's triumphant announcement earlier in the day that his party was "totally united".

There were 20 MPs in total who opposed the final reading of the bill, many of whom clearly desperate to cling on to the Westminster gravy train for as long as possible.  More than half of them were Labour, including the most despicable parasites of all ie. those who are standing down anyway at the next election, but who wanted to stay on and milk the system just that little bit longer.  They are all unapologetic Remainers, so some of them will be fearing the election of a pro-Leave Parliament.  We've put our suggestions for their main motives in italics.  Obviously there's no doubting the motives for Change UK...

Labour

Adrian Bailey (West Bromwich West) - huge Leave vote in his constituency, running scared
Margaret Beckett (Derby South) - big Leave vote in her constituency, running scared
Ann Clwyd (Cynon Valley) - standing down, wanted to ride the train a bit longer
Paul Farrelly (Newcastle-under-Lyme) - standing down, wanted to ride the train a bit longer
Peter Kyle (Hove) - safe seat, doesn't think Labour can win
Dave Lammy (Tottenham) - safe seat, doesn't think Labour can win
Ian Lucas (Wrexham) - standing down, wanted to ride the train a bit longer
Albert Owen (Ynys Môn) - standing down, wanted to ride the train a bit longer
Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield) - has not yet been reselected, fears deselection
Owen Smith (Pontypridd) - announced after the vote that he is standing down, didn't think Labour could win
Daniel Zeichner (Cambridge) - recent poll suggests a Lib Dem surge could unseat him, running scared

Change UK

Ann Coffey (Stockport) - cheerio, cheerio, cheerio
Mike Gapes (Ilford South) - cheerio, cheerio, cheeri-oooo
Anna Soubry (Broxtowe) - cheerio, cheerio, cheerio, cheeri-oh

Plaid Cymru

Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East & Dinefwr) - constituency voted Leave, running scared
Liz Saville Roberts (Dwyfor Meirionnydd) - shrinking majority, running scared
Hywel Williams (Arfon) - wafer thin majority, running scared

SNP

Angus MacNeil (Na h-Eileanan an lar) - shrinking majority, running scared

Green

Caroline Lucas (Brighton Pavilion) - safe seat, fears a Brexit majority

Independent Unionist

Lady Hermon (North Down) - shrinking majority, running scared